Lying About the Truth

What's in a name? What's in a personality? What's in the imagination of someone who just wants to be different, be unique, be themselves? Is it really that bad when you can't even express yourself without having others bring you down or shun you for your individuality? When did it become politically correct to lie about the truth yet wrong to tell it? What do you think? Are you right? Wrong? Misunderstood? Forgotten? Rejected?

The truth is that we may never know the right answer to whether or not being ourselves is right or wrong. After all, social media proclaims the image that it wants everyone to be. Yet, for most people, attaining that high stature of idolism is near impossible due to limitations such as income, weight, heritage, orientation, and even religion. Why did the act of being yourself turn into a crime against humanity? Do you really want to know the answer? If you have to ask the question then you will never know. However, if you already know, then why ask the question?

There is much more to life than what lies in front of you. Sometimes we take what we have for granted without realizing our potential. Once we are shot down to the point of rock bottom, we think that there is no redemption. Redemption, however, can come in many forms. Some forms will be as plain as day, as right as rain, and as obvious as a swift kick in the ass. Other forms tend to be a little tricky to find. The reasoning behind that is because you haven't realized, much less understood why you already have it, but can't find it. Everyone has equal potential to do their best. Everyone has equal potential to live the life they want. The reason why we can't is because we live by the rules set by others. These "others" are the compounds that make up the modern day society. But the real question lies within yourself. That question is what makes you wake up each morning and try again, regardless of how many times you think you might fail. The question is "Why should I do what they want me to? Why shouldn't I be myself?"

My name is Mike Alcantara Jr. I am well known as probably "The whitest Cuban you will ever know." My father was born and raised in Cuba before coming to the states. Although I go by Mike, look as white as anyone else and have no accent, I claim myself as Hispanic due to my roots. I know it goes against the subject of this writing, however, some sacrifices must be made in order to obtain what you truly want in life. Keep in mind that those sacrifices, sometimes small and sometimes great, will always come back to help you when you least expect it. If you are not willing to change to make your way, to pave your path, to leave your mark, then why expect the world to change for you?

I didn't exactly have the model childhood when I was growing up. My father went to prison for almost 10 1/2 years and my mother was in between jobs and husbands almost every few years. I never had all the nice clothes and nice gadgets the other kids did. In fact, when I turned 16, my mom sent me off to school with the words "Happy Birthday! Don't come home without a job!" Needless to say, when I was job ready, I had to help pay the bills and buy the food. It was not the easiest life, but it taught me to truly appreciate what I have and to take pride in all I do. If nobody else appreciates it, at least I will. I saved up money to buy my first car. I saved money to get my driver's license. I saved money to get what I needed. The beauty of all of this is that, even though what I purchased was either used or out dated, it was mine. I worked for it. I earned it. I deserved it. Nobody else could take that away or tell me otherwise. I was determined to make a life for myself whichever way I could.

My how things change over the years...

As time went by, I moved out on my own and struggled to keep from drowning. I had late car payments. I had late bills. I could never buy anything I needed when I needed it. At one time I was going to college full time, tutoring at the same college after hours, working a part time Job at Target, and donating plasma to make my car payment. I was falling behind no matter what I tried. Whenever I tried harder, it came back to hurt me even more. I had to change. I had to adapt to a lifestyle I didn't like. I had to make sacrifices that I will never get back. I had to do it all to stay alive, and it was hurting.

Throughout these times I had several relationships with different women. Some would last for months on end whereas a few would only last a few weeks. The one thing I learned from most of this is that they didn't truly appreciate what I had to do and what I was capable of doing. They never gave me a chance to prove that I could exercise my potential and graduate from college. They never let me show them that I could get more than just a part time job. They never truly understood what I had to do to keep a positive perspective in the face of my downright fall into rock bottom. They never appreciated me for me. It hurt very, very much.

It was at this point, the point of nearly breaking down and giving it all up to admit defeat, that someone gave me one piece of advice that I will never forget. My father, who had been away for most of my life growing up, had simply this to say to me. "Son, you need to stop worrying so much about what other people think of you. You need to get your head out of the ground and get your life figured out. Get a good job, even if you have to start at the bottom. Stick with it, no matter how much you hate it. Take things slowly and go little by little. Once you get your life in order, the money and the help will be there for you. Don't worry about not having a girlfriend either. You need to stop looking since it isn't working. I'm telling you, you get your life straight, she will come looking for you. I promise."

In 2011 I moved away from the big city and moved to a tiny town in the middle of nowhere. Although I had to stay with my mother for a few months to get on my feet, it was a chance to reinvent myself. A chance to start from scratch with some experience. A chance to prove that I can make it. I started working at the local Wal-Mart in March of 2011 as a cashier. I know it's not the best job in the world, but they were the only place that would hire me. I made the best of a bad situation and stuck with it. It was tough making new friends and getting to know people in this new town, but you have to keep trying to make it, no matter the circumstances.

Later that year near the end of April, a new group of people were hired. One particular cashier named Michelle was there. She had worked in the store previously and came back to work because she needed a job. She had just moved back to her father's house from Kentucky after a bad relationship breakup. She was an okay person and usually not the typical type of person I would talk to for idle chit chat, but I was determined to prove that I could make a difference and be a more sociable person. The months continued on and I got to know everyone a little better, including their friends. Michelle and her friend Alicia had deemed me "The weird geek at work with the glasses." We joked about it here and there and I started to become more friendly with everyone. Things were going okay, but I still thought about what I wanted and didn't have.

As the summer rolled through, I was faced with having to find a place of my own. My mother was asking me to leave the house since I was able to support myself now. She wanted me to go make friends and go out with people to bars and the mall and whatnot. Besides, she said, it's better than hanging out on a farm with two old people who only play games on Facebook and drink beer. As luck would have it, fate is also unpredictable at times. It just so happened that Michelle was also looking for a place to stay. We talked about it and decided that, even though we only knew each other from work, we could trust each other well enough to rent a place as room mates.

In late August we found a small place to rent. It was just me and her, so we didn't need an upscale apartment or some penthouse off the town square. Although it wasn't much, it was a place we could both call home. Over time, we got to know each other better. We started talking more about our likes and dislikes and what we want to do with our lives.. Eventually it got to the point to where everyone was assuming that we were dating. I can see why they thought that since we always stayed together and tried to only take one vehicle wherever we needed to go. It was a smart way to save money, and besides, we were just friends. Or so we thought. It wasn't too much longer after all of this that we decided to start dating.

Things were looking up for me. I had a good job. I had plenty of new friends. I had a place to call my own, even if it was being rented. I had someone I can share my time with. For the first time in a long time, I had my life in order, and everything that I wanted slowly started coming back.

Fast forward to today...

Almost three years after we started to date, I am now married to Michelle. She is the best friend I never knew I wanted, and the one I never want to lose, no matter what. We both still work at the same place we met and I also work for Jackson Hewitt during the tax season. We still live in the same place, although we did move next door to a nicer home. We have a loving family of three dogs, a cat, and a fish. It doesn't really matter what we have though. The true value of our lives is what we do with them. Why should we let others tell us what to do with our lives? Are they living them? Are they paying for everything that you own? You are yourself, and nobody can change that. Sure, you may need help on the way in the form of advice, guidance, money, food, belongings, and whatever else you might need. The one thing that everyone needs, but cannot be given, is the ability to tell yourself to never give up, never lose hope, and to never worry about whether or not you are good enough for anything.

I used to be down and depressed all the time. I was worried about not being able to do what I wanted. I was worried about being judged and rejected by everyone. I was worried about being myself. People were punishing me for being myself. It was wrong, and always is wrong.

No matter how bleak everything may seem and no matter how people treat you in life, you will always be yourself. What you need to do is make the best of it. Everyone is trying to be something they are not, but when you try to be the person you really are, you will realize that what you are cannot be duplicated. You are original. You are unique. You are what you make yourself to be. If you want to be happy in life, you need to get your priorities straight. You need to get back on track. You need to sit down and realize that there are more important things to do than worry about what people think about you. If people can't love you for being yourself, they are not worthy of your time. Never, ever, EVER let anyone tell you any different. Take care of yourself and the rest will fall into place. I promise, just as my father promised me.

I want to dedicate this posting to two friends of mine.

The first is Candy Daniels. She posted a blog about her childhood and it motivated me to write this one. Everyone needs a way to tell their story. Without a story, no one will truly understand the complexity of your personality. If they never understand, they may misjudge you in the wrong manner. If they do understand and appreciate you for who you really are, then you will have a happy, promising life ahead of you. I want to thank her for opening up and helping me understand that there is more to her than meets the eye. For that I am grateful to call you my friend.

The second is Colton Brown. I understand that you are going through some rough and questionable times in your life. Although I may not understand every aspect of it, I know enough to be able to tell you to stay strong and that you will be okay. The decisions you make are yours alone to make, but know that, as your friend, I will support your choices and offer my advice or opinion if you need it. Unbiased, uncensored, and understanding. I hope that you find motivation and determination from my post to power through your tough times.

So here's to you Krshna and Brighthorn. May you raid forever and win phat lewtz.